Learning To Be Myself

What does it mean to "fit in"?


What does it mean "to be accepted"?


All of us yearn to fit in and be accepted, right?


Not too long ago, I was like that. I had a great need to be accepted and to fit-in. I didn't like to be ignored.


It used to bother me a lot...


Why?


I wasn't really sure. I didn't even realise that it was an issue.


I used to go out of my way to ensure that people like me. If I know that they have a problem with me, it bothered me and I will usually want to make amends. Or sort things out.


I begin to realise that my attitude and response was not right because I was being a "man pleaser". You see, even Jesus had enemies. It can't be possible for me to have none!


I admire people who totally ignore other people's feelings and opinions. Just do whatever they like and not care what others think. Of course, I am like that too, in a way.


I don't follow the crowd.


I don't run to the Louis Vuitton shop just because my friend bought one. I am happy they are willing to spend thousands of RM or Baht to purchase one.


But to be intentionally mean, it will be very hard for me to do. To act in order to revenge or hurt another person, its not natural for me. Unless if I need to teach the person a lesson. For her own good. I have done that once but I am not free to blog about it here.


I felt that God wanted me to be released from being a "man pleaser". It was hard at first. But I begin to practice it. Try not to be too bothered by people who do not like me or have no chemistry with. Instead of striving soooo hard to gain their approval.


Gaining approval is not the problem. But living for the approval, that's the issue.


So, in the last year or so, I have been working on this and its definitely a great feeling. Its OK for others not to like me. As long as I like myself and know my position in Christ.


Wow! The feeling is refreshing!!!

Personality and Temperament - Part 1

I was exposed to Personalities and Temperaments since my early twenties. The information I obtained from the book I purchased was absolutely life changing, which I later gave to my sister before she left for Australia. It has been an information I used throughout my life. It not only helped me understand my bosses, colleagues, boyfriends, friends, family members, husband, now my children but also about myself.

I will not describe the details here but I suggest that you read it from this website. Don't forget to take the personality test. Following are the 4 basic personality:

1. Sanguine
2. Choleric
3. Melancholic
4. Phlegmatic

In the test, I am 20% Phlegmatic, 55% Sanguine, 13% Choleric. Therefore, I am a Sanguine Phelgmatic. My husband is for sure a Melancholic because we are direct opposites. According to the experts, opposite attracts. But sometimes they attack too!

Knowing the Personality Traits and Temperaments of the people we are closest to, helps us to understand their behaviour and quirks, therefore, giving them the benefit-of-the-doubt when they act or speak in a seemingly hurting way. We are all born with a main personality which will remain for the rest of our lives. We might improve or change a little here and there as we go along. But its doubtful that a Melancholic can become a Sanguine. Unless she or he experienced a trauma.

Go through the test and let me know what your Personality Traits is / are.