Friday, October 3, 2008

Another Lesson on Boundaries

I was requested to do something at the Women's Retreat on Friday nite which I prepared hard for. But on Friday morning, I received a call to say that there were some mis-communication and that I was not required to do it anymore.

My first reaction was, upset.


Because I put a lot of effort to do preparing the thing, firstly. Secondly, with such short notice I am required to do something else? Thirdly, they can't change plans as and when it suits them. How about my time and effort?

Actually, I am not the type to be really bothered about things like that. I usually let it go.... or suppress... or go into denial.... I am not sure. Maybe all of it.

You see, I have been learning about "standing up for myself" in the last one year and I know this is one of those lessons again. Boundaries. How annoying. I thought I have already passed it. Why is it coming back again and again?

So now what?

I knew what I had to do.

  1. Allow myself to feel upset. Let my emotions rise up...
  2. After some 1 hr... Forgive. I forgive, not because she deserves it but because I want to obedient to God.
  3. Actually I had to forgive more than once... a few times. Then, I felt better.
  4. Pray and leave the whole situation to God.

As a result of my willingness to allow myself time to feel the anger and then letting it go. I was able to have a calm confrontational chat with the person. She was apologetic which helped. But that was irrelevant.

I had a great time the day I arrived till the day I left.

I wouldn't even want to think how miserable I would have felt if I had walked in the path of unforgiveness. What fun and laughter I would have missed.

Incidentally the Speaker was talking about forgiveness the whole time. My conscious was clear because I knew I had done what God wanted me to do... as a result, I had a great time of worship in the presence of God throughout the Retreat. It was truly refreshing for my soul and spirit!

How about you? Is there someone you need to forgive?


veta said...

hi..regarding your q? yes. i guess everybody does. Thanks for sharing it. I can relate to it.;-)

Donna May said...


I stopped by because I love to listen to Christians around the world and see that regardless of where we are the Lord creates the same language when it comes to Him because we share the same spirit, Him. We all learn the same lessons and come to the same throne and for some reason it comforts me to know we are all one world wide.

By the way boundaries is something we learn all along the way. I learned it as a young mother, as a a christian worker and now as a grandmother. I seems that we always run across it. Have you read the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud. He also has another one called Integrity. You can connect to for these

Thanks, I enjoyed your site.

shoppingmum said...

I think you handled it well by admitting that you were upset and worked on your emotion. At least you managed to forgive and have a good time at the retreat right?